


En Exodus

by cadkitten



Category: Dir en grey
Genre: Angst, Cumshot, Fluff, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-03-31
Updated: 2009-03-31
Packaged: 2017-11-29 22:10:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/692040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Die goes looking for their bassist, finding him in the tour bus... alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	En Exodus

**Author's Note:**

> Comments: Happy birthday, Toshiya! Fuck, sorry it got angsty. ;_;  
> Beta Readers: kawaiikyo  
> Song[s]: "千鶴" by the GazettE

A bitter chill settled into the air sometime between when the bus arrived in Chicago and when Die decided he needed to be the one to go hunting for Toshiya. The forecasts had predicted warmth for the day and a slight decrease in temperature for the evening, but they'd all been wrong. A storm was moving in, cold and foreboding overhead. Die pulled his black coat tighter around him, frowning at the fact that it couldn't do a thing to keep the icy feeling out. With a strained sigh, he stopped, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and removing one slim white stick. A moment later, his lighter flared to life and he lit the cig with a deep inhale, the lighter being returned to his pocket just after. A raspy cough slipped past his lips as he shivered, pushing back through the main gates and heading for the tour bus in the back of the parking lot.

He paused outside the sleek black bus, finishing his smoke. It was an indulgence, something he had no reason to give up any longer and that couldn't make anything that was already happening any worse. The shades on his face covered his weary-looking eyes, hiding the deep black bags beneath them that were born from a lack of sleep. He was thin, achingly so, but no one ever said a word anymore. Years ago, they had bugged him, asked him if he was okay, tried to get him to eat; Toshiya most of all. But now, they simply accepted it as a part of who he was.

Coughing harshly, he held his chest and covered his mouth. Shaking his head, he tossed the remains of his cigarette to the pavement in disgust, wiping his hands on his pants as he caught his breath. He hadn't told anyone and he had determined that he wouldn't. It would come as a surprise to everyone but him and his doctor when he was found, one day soon, most likely dead in his apartment. All of the years of booze and cigarettes had caught up to him, he supposed. Some terrible illness he'd basically ignored for long enough that there was nothing to be done to reverse any of the effects by the time it was diagnosed. In short, he was dying and had been given only a few short months to live.

What had the doctors confused was that he refused to give anything up. It could have given him another year, maybe two, if he quit the band, stopped the stress of touring and recording, gave up everything but some achingly painful treatment they wanted to put him on. But he didn't want it, wouldn't hear of it. The band had been his life for so many years that he couldn't think of himself without them... and frankly, no matter the ups and downs of it, he lived only for Dir en grey. Perhaps more accurately, he lived for Toshiya.

Slipping the shades off his eyes, he slipped open the door to the bus and mounted the steps. He was quiet, as he always was - a slight presence mostly blended with the shadows. Even the cold air that slipped in with him seemed to warm a few feet inside the steel vehicle. The door clicked shut softly and Die peered into the depths of the bus for the bassist.

He took a breath, walking down the aisle, about to call out Toshiya's name when he heard a low moan from the bunk Toshiya had claimed as his own at the start of the tour. Die paused in his steps, a surprised look coming over his face and then a smile settling on his lips. So this was where he'd slipped off to when he was supposed to be getting ready for his birthday party. Everyone deserved their alone time, especially on tour when there was so precious little of it. But somehow, he felt like it was a total jip to Toshiya like this. After all, it was his special day and he was in here all alone.

A bright smile settled on his lips as he moved forward, a purpose to his steps now as he approached the bunks. He knelt next to the one Toshiya had claimed and pulled back the curtain, revealing that his band mate was, indeed, very much naked and aroused.

Toshiya's hand stroked fast over his weeping length, his grip tight and needy, built to get him off fastest. A startled gasp and then a moan echoed out into the rest of the bus before he could stop himself. Staring at Die, he shook his head a bit, reaching for his discarded boxers to cover himself. "Dude, what the fuck?" He impossibly didn't sound mad, just disappointed, perhaps.

Instantly, Die's hand shot out, seizing the boxers and tossing them to the floor. "It's such a shame. You're all alone on your special night. It shouldn't be like that, Toshiya." He climbed slowly, deliberately, into the bunk, hovering where his face was over the bassist's crotch. "It should be more like this." Dipping his head, he ran his tongue from base to tip of the other's hardened sex and then engulfed the stiff length in his mouth. He swirled his tongue almost expertly as he bobbed his head, the movement slow and sensual, built to last.

Toshiya didn't argue, he didn't even try to object at all. In fact, the only thing he did was push one hand into Die's hair and watch, the most delicious sounds exiting his body as Die worked over him. The minutes ticked by, seeming like hours as he writhed beneath the guitarist, the man he'd called his friend for so many years who was now sucking him off in a manner that clearly told he'd done it before.

He didn't miss the sound of Die's zipper being tugged down, nor did he miss the way Die moaned around his cock as the guitarist's arm began to move quickly. Licking his lips, he watched, eyes glassy with lust as Die's hand moved just as quickly over himself as he moved over his strings during a live. It was undeniably erotic, a sight he didn't want to miss, but ended up having to look away when his eyes closed of their own accord, his hips arching. His length slid into Die's throat and the guitarist didn't even choke, he just took it and swallowed around Toshiya, bringing him off with the action.

A cry of intense pleasure ripped from him as he spilled himself in Die's mouth. The other drank it all down, not even the slightest hint of hesitation in his actions. A moment later, Toshiya slumped back against the sheets of his bunk, panting, his hands stroking at Die's sleek brown hair as Die lapped at him, cleaning up what had spilled.

The guitarist suddenly tensed, shuddering and then letting out a very masculine moan as he came all over the bed between Toshiya's legs. Cheeks flushed, Die let his eyes fall shut and for one glorious moment, everything was right in the world. The perpetual ache was gone, the knowledge that he wasn't long for the Earth diminished into nothingness.

A moment later, reality crashed back down on him and he hung his head, gasping for breath he couldn't quite catch, lungs rasping as the cough threatened him again. His eyes, almost scared now, stared up at Toshiya as his chest heaved desperately, his now-slight body shaking.

Toshiya reached for Die, grasping him and pulling him over his body, making him lay down and then holding him close, threading his hands gently through Die's hair. The motion was slow, repetitive... comforting.

Eventually, Die's breathing calmed down and the rasping cough bubbled up and then subsided. He lay weakly in Toshiya's arms, feeling more awkward than he ever had in his entire life and knowing he well may have shown too much... done too much.

"You never have hidden well, Die. Not in all the years I've known you. If you think I'm blind... that I don't know you're struggling, that you're..." his voice choked up, preventing him from continuing until he had swallowed a few times, "that you're dying, then you're wrong. I know. I see. You may fool the others, but you've never fooled me." His hand continued to stroke through the guitarist's hair, lulling him into a security Die hadn't felt in a long, long time. "Just like I've always known that you love me. I just... I had hoped you would tell me one day. It seems, though, that our time is running out and I won't sit by anymore. You made this step and I'll make mine now."

A single moment passed and then Toshiya's lips were pressed to Die's, tasting him, loving him... consuming him. Even as the tears spilled down Die's cheeks, he gave in and let it happen. He couldn't hide; he never even had been as hidden as he'd thought in the first place. It was pointless to fight. He didn't have the strength to fight it anymore; he barely had the strength to keep going with the band. He simply kissed Toshiya back, denying nothing and proving everything.

**The End**  



End file.
